What is Somatic Sex Education?
Somatic Sex Education covers a range of experiential teaching about sex and sexuality rooted in the body. In it, experiences are designed to nurture, deepen or awaken the sensual self. These experiences can include coaching in breath, movement, body awareness, boundary-setting, communication, anatomy, sensate focus, massage, erotic trance and other body-based teaching about sex. We are trained to do genital and anal touch for education, healing and pleasure. We touch in ways that assist students in developing presence within the body, opening interior awareness, and learning how the body can feel more and more alive.
What Is Sexological Bodywork?
Sexological Bodywork is a modality of Somatic Sex Education that may include unidirectional, consensual hands-on touch for educational purposes.
What is STREAM? What is scar tissue?
STREAM stands for Scar Tissue Remediation, Education and Management. I completed and received certification in 2018 with Ellen Heed and have been working with scars and scar tissue for almost 15 years. Scar tissue occurs in our bodies in response to injury or ongoing biomechanical (posture/use of our bodies) or biochemical circumstances.
What problems does STREAM work address?
Scar tissue remediation works to resolve pain related to:
- birth, abdominal, pelvic and reproductive surgeries
- biomechanical, postural, and physical imbalances
- biochemical imbalances including bladder, gut and reproductive issues
- gender confirmation surgeries, cosmetic genital surgery, and FGM.
These include but are not limited to bladder, cervical, uterine and rectal prolapses, Cesarean scars, interstitial cystitis, vulvodinia, vaginismus, episiotomies, birth tears, prolapse repairs, genital reconfiguration, and plastic surgery.
How long is a session?
Generally, sessions last 90 minutes. After an initial intake session, if you wish to have longer sessions, we can negotiate the time and pro-rate the cost. I offer 2, 3 and 4 hour sessions as well. These are often useful for clients who travel.
What should I wear? Do I have to be naked?
For any session, I suggest that you wear comfortable loose clothing that you can move in. You never have to do anything you do not want to do, including removing your clothing. For bodywork sessions, we will work with what you are comfortable with and with what the work calls for in terms of dress or draping. Your comfort and consent are key.
Do you take off your clothes? Do I touch you?
Nope and nope. If you want to learn how to touch others, you are welcome to bring a practice partner with you.
What happens in a bodywork session?
We determine a plan that makes sense to you that addresses your concerns and goals. We discuss boundaries together and the purpose of the touch. Any touch is designed for your benefit and only given with clear consent.
What do you mean by experiential education?
It is learning by doing. We design activities, experiments and experiences for you together. We will create a safe container for you to try new things, maybe to mess up and to try again. Learning new things can be exhilarating and awkward. It can also be fun. It requires only a little more courage than fear. I am here to support you in your learning.
What is embodiment?
We are embodied when we can feel, notice and understand the sensations of our body. When we become articulate, able to describe, locate and create meaning from the sensations and movement of our bodies, we can expand the way we experience life more fully.
Will learning about consent make my sex life better?
Yes, absolutely! Consent is key to shared pleasurable experiences of all kinds. These skills can take you out of the realm of the guessing game and replace confusion with presence.
How is what you do different from sex therapy and pelvic floor PT?
I have different training from therapists and pelvic floor physical therapists. Sex therapists do not do hands-on work and, though they can give you homework that works with arousal, they do not work with your arousal while you are in session. Pelvic PTs offer hands-on work and can provide education regarding arousal, but do not work directly with arousal and the emotions that arise. Somatic Sex Educators are trained to work with arousal, offer hands-on work, offer trauma-informed care, and teach you about consent as well.
How do you approach race/racism, disability or other experiences of marginalization in working with sex/sexuality?
I endeavor to bring an anti-racist and disability justice lens to this work. My approach is to be present, accountable and real as a practitioner, to hold space for all that you bring in relationship to your body, pleasure and presence, including our racialized bodies. I will support you in exploring how intersections of your identities and how they are located in social/political contexts affect your pleasure, sexuality and body. If I, as a white Jewish trans/non-binary queer who is mostly/conditionally able-bodied, am not a good fit for you in this work, I am happy to recommend colleagues and resources that may serve your needs/wants better.
How many sessions will I need to have?
It depends on your desired change(s), your ease with the practices we choose to use, how much homework you do, and how long you’ve been living with your concern. I’m here for as many or as few sessions as you choose. Some clients completely address their needs in one session and others work with me for years.
What is the Wheel of Consent?
The Wheel of Consent is a model created by Dr. Betty Martin (one of my direct teachers and mentors). It’s practices help us distinguish ways of receiving and giving. It asks two main questions about any agreement between people: ‘Who is doing the action?’ and ‘Who is it for?’. You don’t have to know all the intricacies of the Wheel itself to benefit from the simple and profound practices I can share with you. But I’m happy to teach it fully, too. I am a certified facilitator with the School of Consent.
How will you address my accessibility needs?
I work with you on your specific needs to the best of my abilities. My office building has stairs at either entrance. For wheelchair users, it is often easier for us to set up an alternative meeting location of your choice. The bathrooms are not ADA compliant and are gendered. I use scent-free cleaning and laundry products and have a medical-grade air filter in my office. I keep extra face masks in my office to share. I offer as many mobility options as possible for your comfort. Lighting and sound can be adjusted to meet your sensory needs. Although I don’t speak sign language, I invite your interpreter to be present or can use assistive technology.
What if I’m straight or gay? Or just not attracted to you?
Our work is not about erotic connection between you and me; we work with your erotic connection with yourself. My role is to support your experience.
